Grief 2 Growth
"Transform your grief into growth with Brian Smith, an empathetic life coach, certified grief educator, public speaker, and author who has walked the treacherous path of profound loss. Grief 2 Growth unravels the intricacies of life, death, and the spaces in between, offering listeners a new perspective on what it means to be 'Planted. Not Buried.'
Join Brian and his compelling guests—bereaved parents, life coaches, mediums, healers, near death experiencers, and experts in various fields—as they discuss topics like survival guilt, synchronicities, and the scientific evidence supporting the existence of the afterlife. You'll come away with actionable advice, renewed hope, and the comforting knowledge that love and life are eternal.
One of the most powerful ways we know what awaits us and where we came from is Near Death Experiences. Much of Brian's knowledge is derived from extensive study of this phenomenon, along with interviewing dozens of near death experience experiencers.
Brian knows the soul-crushing weight of loss; his journey began with the sudden passing of his fifteen-year-old daughter, Shayna. It's not an odyssey he would have chosen, but it has been an odyssey that has chosen him to guide others.
Grief 2 Growth is a sanctuary for those grieving, those curious about the beyond, and anyone eager to explore the fuller dimensions of life and death. Each episode delves into topics that matter most—how to cope, grow, and connect with loved ones in the afterlife. If you ask: “Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going?” this podcast is for you.
This isn't about forgetting your loss or simply 'moving on'; it's about growing in a new direction that honors your loved ones and your spirit. It’s about finding joy and purpose again.
Grief 2 Growth is more than a podcast; it's a community of souls committed to supporting one another through the darkest valleys and highest peaks of human existence. Listen today and start planting seeds for a brighter, more spiritually connected tomorrow."
Grief 2 Growth
The MIRACULOUS Healing Power of Mediumship: Carol Obley’s Revelations!
In this illuminating episode of Grief 2 Growth, Brian Smith interviews Carol J. Obley, an esteemed spiritual medium and author. Carol shares her journey from addiction recovery to becoming a highly regarded medium, emphasizing the rigorous dedication and humility required for the craft. They delve into profound topics such as the nature of the soul, karma, forgiveness, and the healing power of mediumship.
Key Takeaways:
1. Journey to Mediumship:
- Carol's path to mediumship began through overcoming addiction and delving deeply into spirituality.
- Her commitment to spiritual growth led her to develop her skills through extensive practice and training.
2. Understanding the Soul and Personality:
- The personality serves the soul's purpose during our earthly life but dissolves after death, returning us to our pure essence.
- The consciousness we hold at the moment of death determines our experience in the spirit world.
3. Healing Through Mediumship:
- Mediumship provides comfort and validation, helping people understand the continuity of life and their eternal nature.
- It's a tool for healing grief, reducing fear of death, and providing guidance from the spirit world.
4. Concepts of Karma and Forgiveness:
- Karma is the principle of cause and effect, emphasizing that our thoughts and actions create our reality.
- Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, is crucial for spiritual growth and maintaining emotional and physical health.
5. Navigating Spiritual Challenges:
- Carol emphasizes the importance of inner work, meditation, and maintaining a compassionate, service-oriented mindset.
- She discusses the impact of the pandemic on people's spiritual journeys and the rise of anxiety and depression.
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Can't wait to hear from you!
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.
https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
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Close your eyes and imagine what are the things in life that causes the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, or challenges, challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed we've been planted and having been planted would grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes, open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true infinite, eternal nature. This is grief to growth. And I am your host, Brian Smith. Hi there welcome to grief to growth whether it's your first time with this or your returning listener, I'm Brian Smith your guide through a complex tapestry of life where we delve into our essence, explore origins question our purpose, and we chart our paths forward. Today we're really fortunate to have with us the esteemed spiritual medium and author Carol J. Oakley. Her work has been a beacon for those navigating the tender terrain between heaven and earth, offering not just a bridge for messages from beyond, but also deep comfort and insights into the nature of our existence and the continuity of our life after death. Carol has an extraordinary career that spans 1000s of individual and group readings, and her ability to bring through names personalities, and strikingly accurate validations from spirits has brought solace and has brought healing to many are sessions are renowned not only for the evidential quality of the communications but also for the profound impact that they have on the lives of our clients. They offer guidance on a wide variety of life's challenges, from relationships to business to spiritual growth, and their compassionate approach. The medium ship is underscored by your dedication to serving others with integrity and sincerity. She's a respected figure in the medium, and she's a regular guest on George Nerys coast to coast radio show among others. She has shared her insights and live on air readings with audiences nationwide further cementing her reputation as a trusted voice in the field of spiritual mediumship. She's also taught at the esteemed Lilydale New York, the largest US center for spiritualism and help has helped many to develop their own spiritual paths and understandings. So that one Welcome to grieve for growth. Cara Oakley.
Carol Obley:Good to be with you, Brian. Thank you.
Brian Smith:Yeah, Carol, it's great. It's great to meet you. Great to be with you as well. Whenever we talk to mediums, I'm always curious, like, how did it start for you? So how did mediumship start for you?
Carol Obley:Um, well, I've written openly in all of my books about this. It really began on the pathway of spirituality through addiction. That was in my 20s. And I entered 12 step recovery. So I became very, very interested in spirituality. And I really knew that I needed that in order to stay sober, to stay clean. And so I delved into it with a fierce passion. And also women's studies as well. And so that kind of went to sleep for a little bit as I pursued other careers. And I was running a business in my mid 30s. And it burned, it burned to the ground. And it left me really directionless for about nine months. And that I was I received a phone call from a friend who invited me to a metaphysical center, near the town where I live. And I put that off for a while. And she called again, and I said, Well, I guess this is something I need to do. So I went there. And as soon as I stepped into that building, I felt at home, I felt as if I had come home, they were doing hands on healing. You know, there were workshops, about spirituality, about intuition, connecting with spirit guides, and so forth. And I couldn't get it off. I couldn't download it quickly enough. And then I went to a place called Delphi, to sharpen my skill sets near Atlanta, Georgia. So it's been a long and winding pathway to where I am today, everything leading to this purpose, this calling of being a conduit for spirit.
Brian Smith:So I was gonna ask you, do you feel like it was something that was kind of preordained for you to go into this field?
Carol Obley:I do. I am of the school that mediums are born not made. Interesting, in no way saying that people do not have intuition, every human being has intuitive ability. And so to animals, they are actually more intuitive than we are. But the pathway of medium Shep, is an I in no way. Am I saying this from being a martyr? I don't mean that at all. But it does require an enormous dedication, practice for years, to reach a certain level where you're certain that what you're receiving are not your own thoughts, but the thoughts from spirit. And so I've been somewhat dismayed by seeing so many people today who claim they are a medium when I know what it takes to be on this pathway, and again, I'm not saying that from I'm better than anyone, absolutely not. That's why you'll never hear me use the word gifted. There is humility that needs to accompany this pathway. Yeah,
Brian Smith:that's what I want to explore that more if you don't mind. Because there is there there's going to be a debate. Even among mediums, I have a lot of friends that are mediums, you know, are mediums born, or can anybody become a medium, I've heard some I've heard people say both ways. But it's interesting because you you're not one of those people who I know some people that I started speaking, seeing spirit when I was three years old, you know, that kind of a person. So for you, you developed or you developed your talent and say, later in life, that's when you started coming, becoming a medium.
Carol Obley:That's correct. Although, you know, I am very skilled with astrology as well, for many years, and I offer karmic astrology or life path astrology for to help people understand their challenges, their skills, what karma they've come in with, if you look at my birth chart, if you know what the planet symbolizes, it's right there in my birth chart, that I was born with the ability, however, just like an being an athlete, or a musician, or anything else that requires training, the skill has to be honed, and it has to be developed.
Brian Smith:Yeah, I think that's a really important point,
Carol Obley:also has to be sort of an overcoming of these false beliefs that we can hold. Um, you know, the biggest one being trust. You know, surrender. Spirit. Spirit is my word for God. That's what the capital is. And understanding, it's never about me. It's something much bigger than me. And so that operates through me. But ego really doesn't have a place in this work.
Brian Smith:I think it's I like having a rejoined having this conversation, because I talked to people, actually, fairly recently. And I've referred some people to medium some times, and people will come back and say, Why did they charge so much money? Or why do they even charge at all it's, it's a gift so that you give it away freely. So I appreciate you telling us like what it takes to be become a medium and the dedication it takes.
Carol Obley:Yeah, thank you for mentioning that. Because most people think that I just woke up one day or, you know, well, when did you know you had your gift? Well, first off, I don't call it a gift. It's just what I happen to be doing. You know, the truth is this. No matter what a human being is doing in life. It's all valuable. I don't care if you're a janitor, you're a teacher. You're what you're doing, you know, with psychology or whatever, helping people and not in that way. It's all essential. Because it's all part of God. It's all part of the heart of the big puzzle. So there is not one skill, or one profession that is more valuable than another. And absolutely, I will tell you that it takes many years of sitting in the power of spirit to reach a confidence level that you can absolutely know that what you're receiving is valid and accurate. And also you constantly have to do your own inner work. You have to do your own shadow work. You cannot help others when you're carrying around a bunch of baggage of your own.
Brian Smith:Yeah, I think that's, again, that people don't really understand the dedication Shouldn't that it takes and you're right. Everything we do is valuable, whether it's from being a janitor, we saw that during COVID. Right when, when we could we needed we start calling people essential workers, hours before we kind of kind of devalued some of that. But mediumship, I think is it's a it's more than just being a profession. It's a calling. It's something that you have to really dedicate yourself doing. And I when I talked to mediums, I come from a background of ministry, my grandfather was a pastor, his parents were pastors, and we call it a calling you get called into it. And I see mediumship is similar to that as a ministry.
Carol Obley:Yes, that's that's a very good point. I believe that it definitely is. And not everybody. It's like, I love music. And I've loved music. Since I was a little girl. I had an old 45 record player, I'm dating myself without one. Um, I would love to play an instrument. And I did for a brief time I played the piano, but I didn't want to practice I was just young. And so I could probably play chopsticks on the piano. But am I going to get on a stage and give a concert? No. So you know, it's very similar, or, you know, I could run 100 yard dash maybe, but I'm not going to be in the Olympics. So it's much like that. And so, yeah, it really does take a certain temperament. It takes on, you know, spunk, it takes stamina to stay on the pathway. If I had $1 for every time I wanted to quit, I'd be very wealthy. Well, yeah, I mean, discouragement. Um, you know, every once in a while, the skeptics and oh, you know, you're a charlatan? Um, you know, I don't know, any other profession that really gets that, that, you know, that those sorts of comments that I have to prove on real, you know, what I mean? So, I nowadays, you know, and then I get the religious backlash to the what I'm doing Oh, you know, you communicate with devils or whatever. So, that doesn't bother me at all. I just, whatever, if you want to believe that you're free to believe that?
Brian Smith:Yeah, well, that's a good, that's a good point you've made about the backlash. And it's from it's from both sides. It's from the materialists who say that it's all fake, that it can't be real. And you said that, like, No, I can't think of any other profession, where you I was constantly having to prove that you're real, when people actually even come to you, and say, prove to me that you're real. And then from the other extreme, you got the people who are spiritual, supposedly, that say you're communicating with the devil, or, you know, my religion forbids this, therefore, you must be doing evil.
Carol Obley:Yeah, I mean, I've gotten emails, I've gotten letters in the mail. So one has to steal oneself against that sort of outside approval. And I'll share this with you a long time ago, my spirit guides said to me, because somebody said to me, Wow, that was a fantastic reading, or, you know, this was years ago. And I started to feel really good about myself and all this. And I heard in my head, my spirit guides said, just as you should not attach to someone saying something negative about you. Don't attach to that either with the praise, try to remain neutral. You know. And so, my spirit guides are very wise. And I never forgot that. I never forgot that. And so I think it's a very good to detach from the outer world. As far as approval. I will tell you that about 85 to 90% of my clients are referrals from people who have had readings with me. I've written five books, but you know, nothing will do for me what a good experience with somebody will do as far as more people contacting me.
Brian Smith:I know that you've given several 1000 readings. What, what do you think it is people get out of having a great medium reading what is what is the benefit to that person?
Carol Obley:There are several and some of them are overlooked. The first is the comfort in hearing the evidence given because I am an evidentiary medium meaning presenting facts about that that soul in the spirit world you know, what was surprised should only like what did they do for a living? What did they pass from? Memories that they had that they shared with you, the recipient? So gaining comfort and going, how would I a complete stranger know that? So it must be a communication with that soul. And I mean, specifically, not just general I see a lady with a round face behind you or whatever, you know, I don't do that type of mediumship. Secondly, one of the most beneficial things for people is the knowledge that they too, are an eternal soul. Why? Or how does that happen through mediumship it happens as a result of knowing if dad or mom or grandma mom in the spirit world is still going on and still has consciousness. That must mean Amen eternal soul to. And thirdly, it eliminates, I believe, fear of death. You know that this is not all there is this is one experience in the multitude of experiences that our soul will have. So I think that those number two and three, are often overlooked. When talking about medium show, that it is, it's not just the communication without soul to provide evidence of the continuity of consciousness. It is also to heal that recipient in knowing that they are eternal and they are spirit.
Brian Smith:Yeah, I completely agree with that. I think I agree with you, I think there's there's can be overlooked the, because we fear what we don't know. And for most people, when they think of death, they think of blackness, they think of the end and think of lights out. And even people that claim to have beliefs about the afterlife, because of say religion, they don't really, we don't really understand it, we're so we're still kind of not really solid to us. But having that knowledge that our loved one is still there, validating that they're, they're still aware of what's going on, even around us to this day, is I think, a very healing thing.
Carol Obley:Thank you for saying that Brian, too, because there are so many readings I've done in which the soul and spirit that blends with me, and that's how mediumship occurs, there's a blending of my soul, with the soul of that spirit person. They will give information about, Oh, I see that, you know, somebody has been ill in the family, and they have you know, heart disease going on. Oh, I know that my niece is getting married. You know, there's no way that I would know those things. And it's not for you know, those things aren't given to for entertainment they're given so that that recipient understands that, oh, you know, what, my mom knows that her granddaughter her niece is getting married, you know, How would she know that? Unless she's in contact? Or about the illness? I will tell you that those in Spirit drawn nearer to us when we are going through tough times an illness divorce, um, you know, is something you know, maybe losing a home, anything that that is painful. Those spirit know about that. And they will come through sometimes they'll just say I'm here. I want you to know you're not going through this alone. Sometimes they will offer some type of guidance, but not all the time. So it really depends on the communicating soul.
Brian Smith:Yeah. How do you experience spirit I know people have different Claire's different abilities in terms of seeing hearing, just knowing sensing what's your experience when you're connecting with the Spirit?
Carol Obley:Well, all three of the inner senses clairvoyance Claire audience which means listening, and it's which means feeling. I've been clear sentient for since the beginning, from Clairsentience arises the other two senses, but it's mainly the best analogy I can give you and I think it's probably something most people can identify with. If I held up a painting to you and I had covered with a cloth, and I say Brian, give me your impression when I take this cloth off. And so then I remove the cloth and you see the scene or whatever it is in that painting, and you go, Oh, I feel calm when I look at this or I feel, you know, I don't know that this is very beautiful, or, you know, there's some sensing that's going on through that impression. That's really what it's like, for me that it's, it's a feeling that will open then like a bloom on a flower. And what I do is and how I've been trained, is to follow that spirit communicator, to surrender, surrender to them, because it's as much as it's the client session. It's the spirit world session. So I'm really serving them. As well as the client. And I have an absolute obligation, I've made a commitment to communicate for them. Because they're no longer here, physically. So I follow the first thing that I notice about a spirit communicator is what I will voice. It might be what they passed from, here's a gentleman here, I've got a dad figure here, he's showing me how to an enormous amount of problems with his legs, he had congestive heart, he was very weak, that sort of thing. Where I've got mom, here, she's holding out a flower pot and in that flower pot, or geraniums, and then I get a feeling, oh, she tells me that, you know, you maintain her grave all the time you put your ATMs there, you know that it's the first thing I noticed. And then it's sort of like, like you and I having this, this interview where things will just flow, but I follow your lead. And that's what I do in session. So it's really a very receptive or feminine position on to be N has nothing to do with gender. But I mean, you know, not leading not demanding certain things. There's a school of mediumship, which actually, I was trained in early that you asked questions, or communicator? Well, I did that for a long time. And then I reached the level where I felt I need more, I need more. So I took training with a wonderful, British medium. And I believe they have the best mediums around. And I did it virtually through zoom. And this teaching was surrender. Let them in charge of the communication. You You don't try to control it. Don't even ask questions. Allow it to flow to you. Hmm, interesting.
Brian Smith:The reason I say that, like I have a friend, and a client who is studying mediumship, and she studied with many, many teachers, and which I think is a great thing to do personally, because they all have different styles and different things. But some of them are almost like they are they're demanding. Like, the spirit comes in. And they're like, Okay, give me your name, rank and serial number. You know, and, and so it's interesting that you say that you it sounds like you kind of started there, and evolved to more conversational?
Carol Obley:Exactly. That's a very good description. I felt frustrated. This is not a field where you can rest on your laurels. It's just not there. There is always more to learn. There's always a refinement of the vessel. There's a refinement, of all of sensitivity. And, you know, so yeah, even at this point, 14,000 readings later, I'm still taking training, because I want to serve even better, and to give even more specific things to clients. So that's why I continue to take training, but yeah, the demanding. There's a world of difference. And it made a huge difference in the quality of my readings. When I began to surrender and not ask, but allow, you've heard you've probably heard that phrase, the space of allowing. That's what it is. That is you step into, I say my career. Everything I do is spiritually based. I cannot imagine doing this work without being spiritually based.
Brian Smith:I just tell me what you mean by spiritually based what does that mean to you? Compassionate.
Carol Obley:I'm looking at the journey of the soul, the sacred journey of each soul. Why why are we here? You You know, the most common question I've been asked in readings is what is my purpose? Yeah, that's the most common question. And, you know, besides medium sharp, you know, the, the most common question there is, is my mom happy? Well, you know, anybody can say, oh, yeah, she's happy. You know, she's not suffering anymore, whatever. Sure. I don't do that. It's necessary to provide evidence. And I do not censor the readings at all. Because then I'm controlling it. It's something needs to be said. And yes, there are souls who come through and they go, you know, I got a ton of regrets. I regret that I was a mean person, I regret that I was an alcoholic. I regret that I was an abusive individual. I regret that I made my work a priority of relationships. I mean, that sort of stuff comes through, as we're dealing with, you know, living breathing souls who had a life. And so I do not withhold that.
Brian Smith:So when someone asks, ask you, what's my purpose? You're getting that from their loved ones. On the other side, I assume? What? What type of answers do you get? Time for real quick break, make sure you like and subscribe, liking the video will show it to more people on YouTube, and subscribe, you will make sure you get access to all my great content in the future. And now back to the video.
Carol Obley:No, not necessarily. Well, it depends. Sometimes I will use the birth chart. Because in the natal chart, the minute that the incarnating soul came into the body of the infant, the planets were in certain signs, they weren't certain what are called houses, which relate areas of life of human life. They were in certain relationships with one another. By studying and looking at the birth chart, one can determine what the karma is where the soul I'll put this in quotes left off prior lifetime. And by the way, yes, I do not believe in reincarnation, I have directly experienced it. I never asked for that. It came through to me spontaneously many, many years ago, I would be sitting with clients, they're asking routine questions, what about my job, what about a relationship, and then all of a sudden, I would see a scene that would unfold above their love shoulder. And at first, I didn't relay that to clients, because I was a little bit confused by it. And then I got to the point where I'm gonna, you know, I'm going to say something about this. And when I would, the person would go, that's funny. And as soon as I hear that's funny, know that it's accurate. And I know that the person identifies with it. And so there are themes, karmic themes, and in the emotional body, in the in the physical illness can be karmic. I mean, all of this stuff is carried in purpose might be not a career. It's doesn't mean a career. I'm a student of Eckhart Tolle, who talks about purpose being spirit. But right now you and I are on purpose, sitting here doing this interview, right? Totally says, it's what you're doing, that you're emanating purpose now is that in alignment with the higher self with the soul self, if we're radiating God than we are, you know, we can radiate the ego to we, we just watch the news for a couple of minutes, you'll see how powerful the ego is, you know. So, purpose is not necessarily career. It's about whatever you however you choose to radiate the light within, which is spirit. That is purpose. And the alignment, the closer one becomes, with the alignment with that light, the less karma you create. And the more that you are going to find that life flows a lot easier when you get out of the way.
Brian Smith:Yeah. Interesting. So you mentioned another question that a lot of your clients have, and I hear this all the time, too. Is my loved one happy? Are they okay? So you said you don't you don't give generic answers to that. But you also said something that I thought was really interesting because there's there's debate about this as well. I've heard some people say there No negative emotions on the other side, we, we can't experience any kind of negativity. What's your experience been with that?
Carol Obley:Um, I would agree. And it that takes a little short, brief explanation. The personality really dissolves when we go into the spirit world. And you might ask, well, then how come you know when you're doing readings? You can go? Oh, yeah, your dad was a funny guy, your grandfather and your K, he was a minister who was a holy man or, you know, how can you do? If it dissolves? How can that be as when that that soul is now blending with me that they have to lower their vibration, I have to raise mine. That's why it's called mediumship. Because we meet in the middle person, and that soul is using the personality or there's a memory, there is a memory of that personality contained within that soul that I become aware of. It's really mediumship is becoming aware of the totality or I shouldn't say totality, because that's impossible aspects of that souls experiences. That's why memories will come through. Okay, you know, oh, yeah, remember the time that took us on this vacation to the beach. And you know, there was a funny incident that happened. That's a memory that was contained. Within that souls consciousness. You see, nothing is ever lost. The soul never loses any experience. And that's called the Akashic files from the spirit world, my latest book, I have a new book coming out at the end of this year, and wisdom from the spirit world. Um, I write about that about the Akashic file. So the whole first section is called you signed up for this. Yeah, yeah. We did. We did. So in the Akashic, your Akashic, my Akashic, everything that we've ever done since the beginning of time, is in that Akashic file, it's like a giant tape recorder. That it's always going, always going always record it. And you can access that through the subconscious.
Brian Smith:Yeah, so I do want to explore this a little bit more because I, I've turned when we say when we've crossed back over, we're still we're still who we are. We're still a person. We're still we're not we don't, as my friend Kelvin was said, we don't merge into the cosmic soup, we, we still retain some individuality. But I also heard you say that the personality dissolves. So can we can we expand on that a little bit more? Sure. Well,
Carol Obley:you've probably heard that we cross over it in my second book, I'm still with you. I wrote about what happens when we die. There's a whole chapter it's called Death of beginning.
Brian Smith:Yes, yeah. So I'm gonna talk about that, too. So
Carol Obley:it's, it's, we're reborn into our natural home, which is world. It's eternal. So we are eternal beings. And what happens is we go through that life review. And in wisdom from the spirit world, there's a section there called those souls report card. What do I mean by that? Well, you and I grade ourselves, you know, I had signed up for, let's say, I needed to learn compassion this time around. Okay, I look back at my life. And when I was born, to the point where I died, how did I do on that, that I get to see that I failed that I get an A. And so from that vantage point, I and there's no lying this is what I mean by dissolving the personality. There is no deception. There's no, there's no screen. There's total transparency. And it's, you know, an honest assessment of, you know, I chose this particular personality. And we do we choose parents, which it's not on a conscious level, but it's on a soul level. And so, I chose this particular personality I chose, you know, to be male, I chose to be female, whatever, I chose this particular race, I chose this particular religion, this geographical area, for purposes of advancement of the soul, the soul's plan. So, the personality is no longer needed. Because it is the personality is an extension of the ego. In the ego and not demonizing the ego, too many new age teachings have demonized the ego, I absolutely do not look at the ego as something bad. It's necessary. It's, it's part of us. But in the spirit world, there's a return to It's sort of taking a cloak off. You say, Now, coming back again, I, you know, here I am in the spirit world, I want to communicate with my daughter, I'm her mother. And so I'm blending with the medium who would do that. And the medium is becoming aware of that personality that I had, let's say that I was a really generous person, I was very giving to the family I was family centered, would probably come through in the reading. Now, the personality is a servant of the soul. Many people in our world today have it reversed. And I will tell you that the personality it will never be, you know, it's going to be dissolved. So that's not the true essence of who you are. I am. Our true essence is the soul. So do we actually choose a personality? I, you know, have I directly experienced that, because usually all I talk about in interviews in my books, is what I've directly experienced. I have not directly experienced that. But it feels right to me, that we become the pure essence again, of spirit.
Brian Smith:Okay, that's interesting. So you're saying, as a soul, we choose the conditions of our life, we choose kind of a plan. And this personality that we have we have when we're here, and it's to serve, I guess, that plan and that sort of that soul. But when we go back that personality is no longer necessary in the spirit world. Correct?
Carol Obley:Yeah, you put that very well. Um, it's the personality is chosen specifically by I know, this is hard for people to really understand not you, but maybe some people listening. We choose the personality to advance the mission, the soul. So that's why I say it's a servant of the soul the way around, and what and I don't know, maybe servant isn't that. But it's, it's there for the evolution of the soul. Let me let me state it that way. Some people will allow the personality to lead. And that's where you end up in trouble. That's where you're going to end up in trouble. Because the ego is. I mean, it's a wonderful thing, our ego, but it also has beliefs. It also has defenses. It also sees division in the ego also sees separation. You know, I mean, just look around. That's where we're at right now. Yeah,
Brian Smith:this is a, I would say, this is not a one on one conversation, we're having a one on one conversation we're having here, this is a little bit more advanced. But it's some of the stuff that I'm coming to understand. And you know, we'll call it ego or personality, as we're in the body. And before we start to understand some of these concepts, we identify with the body, first of all, and then maybe we start to identify with our personality or ego. And it takes us a while to realize that's not me, either. So first, it's like as a first as the body, it's like, well, no, I'm not my body and my mind. And then it's like, well, no, I'm not. I'm not that I'm this. And there we are these multi dimensional, complex beings. And one of the challenges of being human is figuring out who we are.
Carol Obley:It is a challenge. It is a challenge. That's for sure. There are so many people nowadays. It's it began in COVID, for me with what I was seeing here in my private practice of mediumship. And I do all my readings through the phone or through zoom and I read for other countries all over the US. I started seeing people and connecting with people who were you know, during COVID In that great transformation. I don't know who I am. I lost my job. I lost my business, who am on and off usually served, you know, there's always the polarity operating, there's always negative and positive. So, oh, you know, this is catastrophe and look what's happening, I lost the job, and I don't know where to turn. But there is an opportunity embedded within that, to open you up to use new skills to learn new skills, and also anxiety and depression being epidemic now, that started really intensified during COVID. Right. And so I connect with many, many people addiction as well, I've done many readings for people who have lost children through opioid overdose. You know, that's epidemic as well. So people today are really, really seeking. I don't even like to use that word. Because I don't believe we need to go out and seek. I mean, we, I think we need to be open and allow spirit to direct us into what area we're called to. And that doesn't mean it's not about mediumship, it can be anything. So people today are hungry for, um, to know who they are. As spirit, I don't even think that a lot of people really understand who they are. Because you were saying, they might think that they're their thoughts. You know, how many people think they're their thoughts? You know, we have thoughts, but we're not that we have a body, we have a brain. The brain is there's speculation now that the brain acts as a step down unit for higher consciousness. Yeah.
Brian Smith:Well, we've been taught by our materialistic society that we are, we're biological robots, and that our brain generates our consciousness and our and our consciousness is what we are. So therefore we are our body, we are our brain. And that's responsible for everything that we do. And it's a big step for people to pull back from that and understand that we are spiritual beings. And you and I having this conversation is the way that we think but most people don't. That's why they come to us and say, who am I? And I always say, the big questions are, how did you know why am I here? Where did I come from? And where am I going? And most people can't answer those questions.
Carol Obley:That's a good point. You're absolutely correct. I'm, in my new book coming out The Art of sensing, I have a whole thing in there about different soul groups. What are those? Well, I actually I created a workshop called Why am I here? What do you just said? Why am I here? You know. And so these, this phenomenon of soul groups, or what is simply means is there's certain groups of souls who have a similar consciousness has nothing to do with race, gender, and religion, nothing to do with that, but the consciousness of the souls that are within that group. So in other words, they're also called res res of the Divine. And so that, I mean, there are the healers, there are the teachers, you know, there are scientists, um, you know, are different groups, and I have these listed in my, in my book, so, that's a clue, that's not the be all and end all, but it's a clue to to know, you know, with the certain characteristics that I exhibit, you know, most people have more than one group that they're in, um, you know, it's likely that I'm radiating this particular array. And a lot of people don't stop and consider that, you know, like, they just go, Well, you know, like, you know, I was earning 15 bucks an hour or I was doing this or that. It's not about money. It's really about where, what makes you feel alive. What would you do all day long, even if you didn't get paid for it? That is true passion. That is a true calling.
Brian Smith:We touched on this a little bit earlier, I want to come back to it because, again, I I work with a lot of people who have lost loved ones and especially a lot of parents who have lost children. And people want to know, what's it like for for them? It was funny because people always say to them, I have a big problem with calling people in spirit them and us, us because we're all going to be we're all spirits and we're all going there one day, but what's it like for them when they when they cross over? So What's been your experience with that?
Carol Obley:Um, I need clarity on your question. You mean, what?
Brian Smith:What's, what are we experienced? And I know it's a, it's probably a wide range, but what people want to know, what are what is what of my daughter experienced, for example, when she crossed over? I mean, is there? Is there a heaven? Is it this you know that kind of stuff?
Carol Obley:Um, well, it's it's as unique as the individual. So it really depends, here's the, here's just a flat statement that I have found to be true. The consciousness that we leave here with at the moment of death is the consciousness that we take to the spirit world, that consciousness determines where we will go, as far as the level, the plane of consciousness in that spirit world. Example, let's take, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer or Hitler or you know, as I don't know, a serial killer, anybody who is quote, evil. That person, unless they did some kind of healing, when they were here prior to death, they will go to the relatively low levels in the spirit world, they're, they're relatively very, there's not light there. I mean, like physical light, it's ugly. And oftentimes, the soul become imprisoned in their own darkness in their own thoughts, however, that no soul is ever lost, there is redemption in that there is always hope available. You know, I've done many readings with one the other day, person lost somebody to suicide. And there are certain religions that teach if one commit suicide, they're going to, you know, a purgatory or they're going to hell, you know, I have not found that to be the case. I, what I have seen is that there are spirit counselors in the spirit world, I've actually connected with some of them over the years, are like counselors here. They help that soul to grass to understand the emotions that they left with. There's many souls who leave with unfinished emotional business. Okay, that has to be dealt with that doesn't just evaporate in the spirit world. So there's constantly there are, I've seen spirits who are undergoing some sort of healing in the spirit world through being wrapped in different colors of light. You know, color is frequency ration. Some of them need a blue light, a green light. These are things so I sort of like being in this cocoon. So yeah, I mean, these are all things. I wrote extensively about the spirit world. In my second book, I'm still with you. And what I've, you know, what I have personally seen there, as well as years and years of study of metaphysics. But mainly what I write about now is what I've directly experienced.
Brian Smith:You know, that makes sense to me, because I've heard, you know, we hear live streams. So we hear from the religious world, sometimes, well, it's heaven, and hell, it's black or white, there's two choices. It's binary, and they're both eternal. So if you did something bad, or you die in their own state, you're in hell forever. And then I've heard other people, I think, maybe as even a rejection of that saying, everything's love and light. Everybody goes directly to the light, you know, and then people say, always, what about Hitler? What about Jeffrey Dahmer? Did they go directly to the light? And I think that your answer is a lot more realistic, frankly. I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't make it not everybody here is in the light, and everybody here wants to be in the light. And so I think there are some people that that for whatever reason, might say, I don't that's not where I want to be right now.
Carol Obley:Well, you're exactly correct. You know, you can't just automatically in the spirit world there. There is a one of Christ's Jesus's sayings from the Christian Bible that says In My Father's house, there are many mansions. And what he's referring to, I believe, and a lot of his things were highly metaphysical. A lot of his songs on that there are levels there are different levels to the spirit world that but will levels mean, states of consciousness that's what that means. For people not understand that. So that's what I believe he was referring to. And so you can like, if you're, you know, a Jeffrey Dahmer, you can't, you know, die and go, Well, I'm gonna go up there where you know the Ascended Masters are like Buddha, Krishna Ji You know, whatever religion you cannot do that because your consciousness does not match that. And natural law, which is also what I've wrote about in this new book God's laws, which are the only valid laws in the entire universe. Like energy attracts like energy. So therefore, it's impossible energetically to be drawn to something, you know, that doesn't match your vibration. That's why when people go whoa, you know, are you afraid of, you know, talking to negative or evil spirits? No, because I don't have any thought. I'm not negative or evil. I might be negative sometimes. I'm not evil, you know? I don't I don't attract that. I'm not afraid of that fear is also very powerful. Fear, we saw so much of that. And it's still going on. I mean, fear is, it's like a magnet it can draw to you. What you what you fear.
Brian Smith:Yeah. I was gonna ask you about that. Because that's another thing that I hear a lot of memes get asked about what? How are you protecting yourself? How do you know you're not going to attract negative entities? You know? Aren't you scared about beating yourself up?
Carol Obley:Yeah, well, if you keep you know, a long time ago, my spirit guides said to me, and I've told this in other podcasts, but they said, Carol, keep your slate clean. And I go, What do you mean? They said, if somebody does something to you, or harms you, whatever, if you retaliate, that's your karma. If you you just go, you know what karma is going to take care of them or whatever higher source will take care of them. But don't put it on your slate. So if I do my own refinement, and oncoming always from an attentive help, when I sit with a client on the phone, or through zoom, my intent is to help not to hurt ever, ever. So you know, coming from that intent, I really don't think that demons are the devil wants to help. You know, so that's why I'm very confident. You know, has it affected me physically, because energetically have changed so much since I've been doing this work really? Well, for one thing, I've become vegan. I do know that I mean, I probably some very limited animal products, like in baked goods, you know, eggs or something. But I've changed that. I spend a lot of alone time. You know, even though I'm married, I mean, alone, time is very necessary. I meditate every day briefly. That changes one's energy. And I've had to do an enormous amount of self forgiveness work. Because during addiction, I mean, this was many years ago, I was during my 20s I hurt people. And that I, you know, when I have entered into this type of work, I wanted to balance that and heal that within myself. And so I really had to focus on self forgiveness. I've written a lot about forgiveness in my books, right? Wisdom from the spirit world, there's a whole big section on forgiveness, and the importance of self forgiveness.
Brian Smith:Let's talk about forgiveness a little bit more, because a lot of people I think they misunderstand forgiveness. And they'd say it as okay, you're, you're you can't tell me what to do. You can't make me forgive somebody. If I ever saw someone on Facebook just a few days ago. It's like, you can't make me forgive. And I'm like, Well, no one's trying to make you forgive. So what are your thoughts on forgiveness and it's important?
Carol Obley:Well, you're absolutely correct. Most people believe that it means well, you know, my dad abused me horribly, but I'm gonna forgive him now. And that's all okay. It doesn't mean that at least in a spiritual science in the spiritual science, it means a release of the past simple, simple. I make a conscious decision to release The past, that doesn't mean that I'm putting a stamp of approval on it. What it means is, I continue to carry hard emotions, anger, bitterness, resentment is a good way to get heart disease. This stuff will go into the physical body if it's held not 100% of the time, but I've seen it happen with people. Um, that, again, it's about keeping your slate clean. You know, to release that. One of the Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity I studied these a long time of lemmas reader, and I'm always watching videos on YouTube, I'm constantly learning and the four spiritual laws of prosperity, because I hear so many people, why is money such a hard problem for me? And due to do you know? Um, well, let's see, what are you doing? What are your beliefs? So one of the four spiritual laws of prosperity is forgive everybody all of the time, including yourself. That's one of them. Another one is tithing. Giving, it doesn't have to be 10%. You know, if you can't do that, but give to someplace where you're spiritually fed. Because that multiplies. That multiplies. So, and I am, I feel I should have given the name of the author of that book. I cannot. I cannot remember her names. I think it's Edwin Gaines. Um, her father was a fundamentalist minister. Okay. And she was raised in a sort of that, but I found out about her through unity. Okay, yeah. workshop with her at Unity. So it was tremendous. So I practice that every Sunday I write, I write. They're not big checks, but I write out checks to charities, you know. And I believe that it's an obligation, I believe that you know, that everything returns, and I can tell you 100%, it will come back to you. And oftentimes, unexpectedly.
Brian Smith:Yeah, you've spoken quite a bit. You've mentioned the word karma. So I think a good way to kind of wrap up is to help people understand, what does that mean, because again, I think there's a lot of misconceptions, around some words that we think we know what they mean. But we're really doubt
Carol Obley:the karma simply means cause and effect. Everything that you see in the physical world, was first a thought it was either a collective thought, or you know, if you believe in the Bible, I mean, it was God's thoughts that created the earth. Universal doesn't matter was thought. And so you know, we've all heard the cliches, oh, our thoughts create our reality and all this. Well, it is a cliche, but it is true. So a lot of mediumship also involves, I'm going to be honest counseling. I don't Bill myself as a counselor, I certainly I have a minor insight from college. But I ended up you know, doing a lot of counseling with people. And I don't misrepresent myself, but sometimes it's just things that are so obvious, and I have to remind people about, but karma simply means what you create your receive.
Brian Smith:I love what you said about mediumship being about counseling, and we have to be careful when we use terms because counseling has a medical connotation. Just like me being a life coach. You know, I don't I don't, I'm not a counselor. But I think as as a medium, you're not only there to you said you're serving your your client, the sitter, you're serving the spirit world, but you're also I think you're there to heal. And it really irks me and I know people have to do for legal reasons, but when people put on their websites, you know, for for entertainment purposes only. Because I think a lot of people still think of mediumship is as for entertainment, whereas mediumship is about healing. Mediumship is about it's about it's about lessening that grief, it's about lessening the fear. It's about making that that connection, it's about the continuing bonds that we have. It's not it's not a joke, you know, going into a medium.
Carol Obley:Yeah, well. I've had to turn. As you can imagine dealing with the general public. I've had to turn some people away. I remember Ever one time, you'll probably get a chuckle out of this, Brian, somebody called me. And he goes, Can you give me the Can you tell me who's gonna win this football game? Yeah. Yeah. Like, no. If I if I hear that I've had people ask me for numbers. I mean, that's more psychism I am very psychic to I don't usually use that word I say spiritual medium, because psychic is a very loaded word in the public. popular vernacular, you know. But if I use my abilities in that way, I would lose them. Probably a lot of people go, yeah, what are you know, what are the good numbers to play? And that's, you know, this is not fortune telling. And believe it or not, I mean, there are still states that have fortune telling laws on the books that allow to do this. And so that's why I say no, you know, I do have a ministers license. I got that years and years ago. Yeah. So and I had to do certain things in order to get that it wasn't like off the back of a matchbook or anything. You know, it's, it is what it is. But not this is not for everybody. But it is for some people. And I'm very realistic. I'm extremely transparent. And I tell people, this is one tool in the toolbox. You know, go to someone like you, you know, doing grief work, go to a regular psychotherapist, you know, do journaling. This is just one tool in the toolbox. It's not a cure all. Yeah,
Brian Smith:it's not a cure all. But it is a very powerful tool. I know that some people have gone to had a great medium reading or two, and said it was more valuable than a year of therapy. Because again, it that validation that our loved one is still there, that validation that we are still going to continue on. There's something about that, that can be very, very healing.
Carol Obley:Yeah, thank you for saying that. Because I too, have been the recipient of those sorts of comments. And I have actually, when I used to do in person readings, I would watch people when they came in, and their even their body posture, their demeanor, you know, kind of doll or the you know, their their slumped or whatever. And then like the half hour session or the hour session, they're totally different. And that's not me. I'm not taking credit for that. It's Spirit working through me. But and I've had people say, and they'll go, you know, I can't believe what you said to me just really changed everything. And I always just say, it's not me, you know, but yeah, some Macondo it. So thank you for saying, I appreciate
Brian Smith:it, man. Thank you, thank you for being here. Thank you for doing what you do. So remind people of where they can find you. And I know you mentioned several of your books. So what's your most recent book?
Carol Obley:Um, the most recent one is wisdom from the spirit world. new book coming out and of this year, and maybe you and I'll get together again for my website is soul visions.net Does chloral visions soul visions, thought Now, I also have a Facebook page I'd like to mention and that's facebook.com backslash soul medium, so ul plus the word medium. I put on there everything I do every podcast I do, I post it there. And, you know, you can get my books through Amazon or on Kindle or Barnes and Noble nog. My publisher, which has collected I think six books is the imprint on any of these places. But you will not get an autographed copy unless you go to my website. I mailed them out so you won't get that through Amazon. I can't beat Amazon's prices though. I just can't even author.
Brian Smith:Well, Carol, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for what you do and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.
Carol Obley:Thank you, Brian. It's been a pleasure.