In Part 2 of our conversation, Alba continues the story of her experience with Aurelia.
Alba Monn is an author and a mother who had a fascinating experience with the birth of one of her children, Aurelia. Alba had a near-death experience that changed her life. It was, in actuality, a shared death experience, as you will learn when you hear her story.
I’ve broken this very special episode into three parts. In parts 1 and 2, I get out of the way and let Alba tell her story as she recalls it. It might be a bit confusing in parts because the story doesn’t begin on the night her daughter was delivered in an emergency situation, it begins years earlier. In part 3, I ask Alba to go into more detail and we discuss the lessons from her absolutely amazing experience.
In her experience, Alba learned:
* Forgiveness is absolutely essential for our soul’s well-being
* Souls have no age
* Humans are all flawed equally and differently,
* A life can have profound meaning no matter how short the time here on Earth
* Something prepares us for the tough lessons we’re about to encounter, if we pay attention
* Tragedy is less of a punishment and more of an opportunity
Her book tells the story about healing after the loss of her child, PROOF OF ETERNITY by Alba Monn. It is intended to give hope to everyone who has lost a loved one, especially their own child. It's available at Amazon as an ebook.
Close your eyes and imagine what are the things in life that causes the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, or challenges, challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed we've been planted, and having been planted, to grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes, open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is grief to growth. And I am your host, Brian Smith. This is part two of my interview with Alba mine. If you haven't listened to part one, please go back to the previous episode and listen to the opening. This experience with Alba is how her unborn child was born. And they shared a near death experience and how it saved her life and led her to a life of forgiveness. So if you have listened to part one, please go back and listen to part one. And with no further ado, here's part two. Yeah, yeah, I can only imagine how tough that there had to be. Wow. So what do you think the purpose of this experience was of a rally as coming to you? And this this whole thing that you went through? Do you think that that serves a purpose?Alba Monn:
My near death experience with her? Yes, yeah, I think, to me, the purpose was pretty clear, because she, I realized that she had been without a heartbeat for more than an hour. So he was on the other side for quite some time. And in my understanding, she was given a choice if she wanted to stay, or if she was prepared to come back for some time, or a small timeframe, to try to change everything for the better. And the situation when she was actually dead was before my emergency operation. And I was still in the process of dying. And between my emergency operation and my MD, I always had flashbacks of my husband having a deadly car accident on his way home. So because he was on his way home in the in the night, it was raining, it was dangerous, and he didn't get any sleep for a long time, and he was sleepy. And I have this concept that if she hadn't come back, I wouldn't have had the d&d, I wouldn't have had the second operation because I had a second emergency operation right after my daughter had died. Because they had to check on me before they would let me go to the other clinic to see her for one last time. And so they found that there was so much fluid in my body that they had to operate again and try to stop me from bleeding to death. And my concept is that my and he was actually my only helped that I got in a situation where nobody could reach me. And my daughter decided that she would give us some more time to try to change the whole situation so that it would not be destructive for both of us, for not even me because I would be dying in the clinic without anyone noticing. And my husband could have had an accident, maybe, I don't know, in what timeframe, but I guess the same day. So I had two older children and they would have not only lost a sister, but also their mother and their father. So they would have been orphans within a day and would have lost three family members. And I think that was the way it was supposed to be or was going to happen. And she decided to come back and end change First of all, the moment of her death. So she would come back for a couple of hours to to reach me and to change my attitude because if I would have got the message of her death in this attitude of anger to incite hatred, and and all these accusations that I had, it would have been detrimental for my spiritual survival To be honest, even if I would have survived I would have accused my husband for the death of our daughter for the rest of my days. And when I was in this room, feeling those four emotions love and and grief and remorse and this desperate, desperate feeling that I want to be forgiven. I realized that the grief was in the future it started now, but it was stronger in the future. And I sensed that there was something like a very heavy burden in the future that I would have to carry. And I was grieving about that. I think it was also something in the future of my husband and my children, of course. So all of this was changed with my near death experience. And my daughter tried to make me understand in the telepathic discussion first, and I think if I had understood what she wanted, and if I had forgiven him, the rest would have never happened, it would have been easy for her. It felt like when you start a car, and you take the gear, to the first to the first gear, and it's just starting to go. And that's how easy it was for her. As it felt to me, the telepathic discussion was the easiest way for her to reach me. And then all the other changes were always harder for her or for me, I don't know, it was harder, it felt like second year was when she appeared, and it freaked me out. And she saw that it was not doing any good. And so she tried to change the setting, I think, with this whispering sentence that she said, trying to reach me so that I wouldn't fall asleep because I was about to fall asleep out of a loss of strength. And then in this room in, in eternity, I saw the truth. And later on, I call it like the Chamber of truth or a hall of truth, because everything that I saw was the truth that I didn't want to accept. But that was presented to me in a way that I finally understood. And the last scene seen just before transitioning through this gate, through this wooden fence, I felt like it was gear number four, it was going very fast. And I, I if I would have been a little bit faster, I would have just gone through this fence and been on the other side. And so I was to put it back before that could happen. And it, it wasn't my decision. But it was a decision in my best interest and also in the best interest of my children. Because when I heard that, the doctor told me that our failure had died. I remember thinking I want to be with my child. And if she's dead, I want to be dead also. That was the first thing that came to my mind. And then within seconds, I realized I can't do this to my two older children, because they would be in my place, they would be exposed to all these feelings and difficulties that I felt too weak to encounter, to be honest, if it felt too much for me to go on. And then I realized I can do this to my children. And that's when I decided I have to stay strong and stay alive and get well again to take care of my children, my young children because they were pretty young at the time. So I haveBrian Smith:
to ask you, I know you had some other premonitions about the passing of earlier is that true before before this, you had some premonitions that she was going to not live very long?Alba Monn:
Yes, that's true that this day that changed my life forever. And it was actually two difficult instances within a few hours, the death of my child and the near death experience, which was a huge help on the one hand, and on the other side. It was tremendous difficulty because I couldn't tell anyone about it. I couldn't tell anyone in the clinic and I couldn't tell anyone at home, I didn't want for family and friends to know what had happened, what my husband had done, so there was no way to explain it to anyone. And the thing that consoled me was that I had three different dreams before or alias birth and death that had warned me and unfortunately I hadn't understood what they meant. One of them was even eight years nearly to the day before she died. And so it was just a couple of days away. And I had written it down because it was so it felt so special and extraordinary that I thought I have to write this stream down so I wouldn't forget it. I didn't understand anything about it. But it showed me the details of the emergency cesarean section. So I had a hole in my in my belly that was the size of a fist and you could look through my body and then there was a little a little sealable thread coming out of it. That was pulling me along. And so there were a lot of different details that reminded me of her emergency operation of, of the grieving process. For instance, I got two messages about the physical healing and emotional healing. And I didn't understand any of it because I didn't know what what incident was it was pointing to. So there was nothing in my life at the time that made any sense in the stream. But when I found it a little bit, after a really a staff, I was shocked. I was so astounded that so many details were so clear and describe what I was going through eight years later that I realized that this was unbelievable, to be honest. And at the same time, there was one angel with a sword, and it said, I never saw him. So I had written down, I never saw his face, but he touched my belly very, very softly. And he wanted to warn me and to console me. So this was obviously before the pregnancy was over. So even during the pregnancy, there was obviously an angel trying to console me and warn me and I just hadn't understood what it was all about. And the second train started when I was about in the fourth month of pregnancy, and it recurred every week. And it was horrible. Because in the in the beginning, I didn't think there's something like that was possible. It was in the middle of the week. And I think it was Wednesday, anytime, anywhere, I had three or four days that I was afraid of destroying to come again. And then I had three or four days after it when I was just recovering from the shock of it. And this train showed me I was standing at home, in my living room, I was standing with my pregnant belly. And out of my belly button, a very tiny baby came out, it was so pale that I understood at one set, it wasn't really able to be healthy. And I tried to put it into something that looked suitable for for her to be kept in. So that would it would remind her of my belly and I went into the kitchen, and I put a soft cloth in my salad bowl and I put the baby inside and draped little cloth around her and around her head. And I was looking at her totally started what this should mean because the belly was huge, and the baby was so small. And I didn't know how to care for her. I was thinking, how should I make sure that she isn't too coward. And it felt like I couldn't provide the surroundings that she needed to survive actually, or at least to be okay. And at that moment. The mailman was pressing my my doorbell and I ran downstairs to get the mail and I had to sign a little form that said I had gotten a package and I took the package and went back upstairs and I put it away on the kitchen counter. And a few steps away from the salad bowl, I realized that this whole cloth was rearranged while I was gone, somebody must have opened it up. And my baby wasn't there anymore. And I was I was in such a state of horror. I was running through the whole house, looking for my child everywhere. And coming back to the kitchen realizing that she was nowhere I started to open all these all these counters, everything where I could look for her, or the cabinets or the doors, I ripped everything open, I put everything on the floor. And I was in a frenzy going for the whole house, nothing was in its place anymore. Everything was torn down. And when I was finally going back to the kitchen where I had started, I was so exhausted that I lent my the back of my head against the coolness of this refrigerator door. And I remember that it felt so cool and and my heart was beating so fast in the stream that I felt relieved that I was at least having some help from this coolness of this refrigerator door and then I was thinking I can never find her again. Because if she's not in the house and she's so tiny, where should I ever look for her and I will never be able to find her. And I was in a state of resignation. So I I felt like an endless sadness came over me and I realized there's no way I could ever find her. And I had lost her and now she's gone. And I was so sure that she was somewhere in the house for some reason. And I hadn't found her and then my my eyes fell on the so I looked at this little package in front of me and there was my name on it. And without even moving anything. Not even my head without even moving Anything of my body, I realized that my babies in this little package bundled up for me, sent to me. air tight, and I was starting, I was thinking, I'm going to go crazy. And I was starting to yell like, I've never yelled in my whole life. And I was thinking, this is it. And I felt my heart racing such a beat that I didn't know. And I always woke up at that point. And this dream kept coming back. And I told it to my husband, he said, this is a stupid dream, don't take it seriously. And I was trying to analyze some different details of it with some friends of mine, but we couldn't get any explanation. For instance, why is the baby so small, of course, as the birth as the time progressed, and birth came nearer, I realized that it must have another meaning it must not be actually that the baby starts small, but it must have a meaning that says, The baby is not in a state where it can survive outside of the womb, that was the meaning of this detail. Do you know what I mean? So all these details made sense. Looking back at it, I realized that the salad bowl was the incubator where my daughter was put in, and the people who had taken her out were the medical personnel and the other clinic. Because I wasn't there, I was gone. Like in the dream, I was gone to talk to the mailman. So she was alone with others, and they took her out and took care of her. So in every little detail, I found some meaning that came through later on. And in the stream. I don't know, I was prepared for all those emotions that I was exposed to after she had died. So it was kind of a preparation dream. And I had this feeling that if I would understand what it meant, I wouldn't have to dream it anymore. And I was trying to figure out what it meant. But I never really figured it out until it was too late. And so this was the second dream. And the third dream was a positive dream. It was a dream of, I should say contemplation, it was a dream of her being buried in a very beautiful way. Because for instance, I saw myself in, in a dark church, everything in discharge was gone. There was no altar. There was nothing anywhere in this church. So the church was totally stripped down from everything that was inside. But there was a little circle of small white canvas. And they were lit and it was a circle of mild light. And within those candles, there was there were flower petals, orange, and pink, and white and, and kinds shades of reds, and a little bit of purple. So it was girls colors. And I was holding my daughter in my hand. And then everything was peaceful. And there were people standing around the circle of Canvas, so that the whole space of this church was filled up with people being present at the ceremony. And it was a very, very solemn but also peaceful and very respectful setting. So everything was peaceful and nice. And I gave my, my little daughter into the hands of my best friend who was standing next to my right. And she put her down on a soft on a soft, small carpet that was dark wine red, and she put her down, and my daughter was asleep. She had her eyes closed, and she was bundled up and we were standing there. And then as I felt that everybody's waiting for me to do something. Um, we were standing there for a very, very long time. So it felt like one or two hours. And then I felt like I'm an actor in a movie. Everybody knows the script, but I have no idea what my next line is. And I couldn't figure out what everybody was expecting from me. But I did something that I felt was the next natural thing to do. So I I walked past at the side of this little carpet where my dad gave a little baby was resting on. I stepped over all those parents, I stepped over to Kansas, the people made way for me so I went to a little door that goes behind the altar. And strangely enough it was when I went through it. I came into the same church again. The church was dark, it was empty, and all the people were gone. It was totally empty except for one chair that was sitting in the middle of it. And I knew that it's my Chair, just my place. And I went, slowly, I went over it over to it. And I sat down. And I was sitting down. And then I was so sad. And I started to cry. And I couldn't stop. And I was crying and crying in the stream. And I realized I didn't know why I was so sad. And so I was trying to figure out, how can I be that sad? And what could be the reason for me to cry so much. And as I was thinking about it, I didn't have any clue what could be so devastating that I would cry so much. And as I realized that there is no explanation for it, I woke up, but this train was just, I just rant once, and the other one was recording every week. And later on, I felt like this stream had more or less the same content as the other one,Announcer:
we'll get back to grief to growth in just a few seconds. Did you know that Brian is an author and a life coach. If you're grieving or know someone who is grieving his book, grief to growth is a best selling easy to read book that might help you or someone you know, people work with Brian as a life coach to break through barriers and live their best lives. You can find out more about Brian and what he offers at WWW dot grief to growth.com www dot g ri e f, the number two gr o w th calm. If you'd like to support this podcast visit www.patreon.com slash grief to growth www.patreon.com slash g ri e f, the number two gr o w th to make a financial contribution. And now back to grief to growth.Alba Monn:
But the other one was a little bit scary for me. And this one was calming me down and and showing me the ceremony that we had arranged for her for her birthday. And actually, I had never told anyone of my family have this dream. And at the time, when the day came when my daughter was to be buried, my mom went outside in her garden and she cut up every flood flower in her garden. So she went to, to the grave with too heavy baskets full of flowers. And she didn't tell anyone, she had no idea that I had dreamt that. And she put the flowers onto the you know, onto the soil inside the grave. And I had to have another emergency operation the day before a radio was buried. And I had to fight to be able to be there in a wheelchair. And I was only allowed to stand up in front of the grave. And to sit down right right away again. But when I was standing up, and I looked into the grave with all those flowers, and enter a little coffin being you know, lay down on on a bed of flowers, I was so moved because I realized this was exactly what I'd seen in the stream. So I had seen that she would be cared for not only by me, but by other people they would love her so much to to make such a present for her. And my mom wouldn't even tell me for another two or three days, that it was her who had done that as a last gift for her granddaughter. And the only one I had told her that I'm going to ask all of my friends who it was because I was so grateful for that person. Then she admitted that it was actually her. And I said, You know, I can't put it in words how thankful I was for her to do that. And what a beautiful sight to see that your baby is laying on a bed of flowers. And so this was another detail that I had seen in the dream that came true.Brian Smith:
Yeah. So Alba, I want to ask you have you had communication with the railroad since then, or she come to you? either in dreams or visions or anything since since this time?Alba Monn:
Yes. The first time that I had been contacted by her was when I was in the funeral home. And I had been in the clinic in the hospital for about a week. And when I was finally released from the hospital, I told my husband I want to arrange everything for her to to be you know, cared for and and to be buried and in a way that shows that. We love her as much as if she would have been 70 years old. It didn't matter how much people think that she had an impact on us or on our family that she meant as much to us as anyone else in the family would have meant. And so I was I was eager to finally see her again for once, and secondly to arrange everything so that she would have a very beautiful funeral. And when I was seeing her for the first time, she was laying in her coffin and I had picked out all the clothes that she was wearing. And we had arranged for soft for soft lining in her coffin because it was bare wood as we had picked it out. And so we put some baby blankets in it. So I had a couple of baby blankets from home that we had bought for, and we folded them up and put them inside so that she could lay on it. And I had decided to spray everything with my favorite perfume because I thought she never was able to turn out to sense my perfume I wanted to get as much from myself as I could. And I took a sweater that I had knitted myself my favorite sweater, and I put it in, in I had liked it put in, in that little coffin in her coffin. And a man who had dressed her because she was cut up from a procedure to make sure what was the cause of her death. So she was cut up, but she was dressed beautifully. And I had the man who put her in the coffin, I had asked him to put my favorite sweater underneath her and so that it would end just utter neckline. And when we would close her coffin, we would wrap the sweater around her body and and wrapped it just rapid like to answer from other that would cradled her, you know, one side to the other. And we had beautiful flowers for her for each hour that she had left one flower and we said a prayer together. And before we close the coffin, I said to my husband, I want to hold her in my hands, because I have never been able to ever hug her in my life. And I just wanted to get her as close to me as possible. So my husband didn't want for me to lift her out of the coffin because of the procedure that she had been actually cut up and sewed back together. So I didn't, I didn't want to get in a discussion with him. So I agreed. So I had arranged that there was a little seat for me to sit on. So because I couldn't carry her because I had just had another operation. So I had to sit down. And then my husband, put her into my arms. And when I looked at her, I, I was so happy, I don't know how to explain it. But in the deepest grave, I was so happy that I was finally together with my daughter, the way that I should have been together from the start, in a way, you know, right after the birth. And, and suddenly I heard her telepathically Tell me, Mom, don't be so sad, because I'm so happy that it's all over. And I realized that it must have been hard for her to, to live for those couple of hours when she was in the ICU, in the children's ICU. Because it must have been hard for her to come back and go through it all, just for the sake of us and and I realized that this meant that she didn't want for me to to grieve, you know, for forever, but it meant that she wanted for me to know that she was okay with the situation. And that she was fat. It was a big source of consolation for me actually.Brian Smith:
Yeah. There's just so much in your experience that you know, it's just, it's so informative, I guess for all of us, you know that because we sometimes wonder like, if someone comes in and they're only here for a couple of hours or a couple of months or a year or a few years, could they really have made an impact and obvious, you know, your daughter, she, she saved your life in a way I guess. And you know, the fact that people say well,Alba Monn:
definitely, because Yeah, well I was thinking about the actor. He was a little pain medication she was without any brainwaves. She was without normal breathing. She had to be on a respirator. He or she had to have everything else. So she wasn't she wasn't having any other vital signs except for her heartbeat. But in fact, in the spiritual realm, she was a grown up person, she was totally, I felt when I talked to her she was so forgiving. She was she was so much better than me as a, as a person, she was so way ahead of me that I had the feeling that she was actually my coach, she was my teacher in this situation. And she was like a mentor, taking someone else by the hand and showing them the way to go. And, and later on, I realized I had this strange thought that maybe she didn't stay among us for that long, because what could I ever have told her like she couldn't have learned anything from me anymore. It felt like it was just a gift that I had had the honor to meet her actually. And, and this just this was just so unbelievable, because I had never felt that little baby could have actually spiritually such a, such a personality that brings so much hope and, and goodness to the lives of others. And just to think about what her impact was, she not only saved my life, because of her death, right after the end, he I was checked. And if I hadn't been checked, right after she had died, because I wanted to see her, nobody would have realized that I was still bleeding internally and in the process of dying. So I had to undergo some more checkups. And then they found the source inside my belly, and then they fixed it. So I would definitely have died. And as I said, I'm afraid that even my husband would have died, maybe just out of a lack of concentration on his way back home. And the whole family would have been destroyed and away. Yeah, because I couldn't even I couldn't even start to imagine what it would have meant for my two older children.Brian Smith:
And the other thing I think is really important in your, in your experience is the power and the purpose of forgiveness. I mean, a lot of times, and I love the way you went through this process where you, you knew philosophically The best thing to do is forgive but emotionally, you still couldn't do it, until you realize that forgiveness was really for yourself.Alba Monn:
Yeah, that was the problem before I went into this realm in the spiritual realm, it felt like forgiveness was a service that I would do for others. It felt like it was a way to stretch out the hand for my husband, but it did not have any meaning for my own well being I couldn't make this connection that my well being was actually also connected with my husband's well being and then I would also hurt myself the same way I would hurt him. Because if you imagine if I wouldn't have been able to forgive him, even if I would have survived and wouldn't have died because of the internal bleeding. If I would have survived for the rest of my life, I would have carried this burden. And this burden would have been huge, just like this huge boulder that I saw in the other room, it would have been impossible for me to to move it, I would have been stuck for the rest of my life with this accusation against my husband and not forgiving anyone. And to be honest, what astonished me the most is that I had felt in this chamber of truth that there was no way that I could ever change even one little inch of the outcome of my life result at this point. So there was no way to change it. But the only way to change it was forgiving someone else. So this meant I had this huge urge all the time that I would be forgiven. This was a desire that was as strong as you could imagine somebody who is who is nearly dying from hunger and thirst. It was like somebody being hungry and desiring something to eat and to drink. This was how much it is. These emotions were so strong, I could hardly think of anything else. And this desire was so great that I would be forgiven, but I couldn't make it. I couldn't change anything about it. And and only when I forgave my husband, automatically, it felt automatically in the same moment. I was forgiven everything that I had done wrong. And that was the thing that astonished me the most when I was actually back in the ICU as I was thinking to myself, how, how much power is in forgiving if even in eternity when when you decide you would forgive someone else, you would change your own life result. I mean, this is huge. And if you think about it in, in the prayer that Jesus had taught his disciples, it says God Please forgive us, the way we forgive others. And it's also there, the connection is there that, in a way, it seems to me as if it was impossible for God to forgive us everything he would wish to, if we were stuck in not forgiving others, there's, there's some connection there that I experienced. And it it was heartbreaking before I finally got around to forgiving my husband. And even on the other side there still, this power of forgiveness, it was unbelievable, to be honest, when I came back and thought about it.Brian Smith:
Yeah, it's it's really, really incredible. Wow. But I want to thank you so much for sharing your your experience with me today. It's just, it's just incredible and fascinating. And I know the listeners are going to love it. I want to let everybody know that Alba has a book out. And the book is called proof of eternity. And her name is spelled al ba and the last name is m o n n. that's available now on Amazon. And I'm sure there's a lot more in the book. But I really appreciate you sharing this very rich, very enlightening experience.Alba Monn:
Well, thank you so much for having me. And I have written my book, actually to reach out to all other parents who didn't have an MD and would be interested in hearing what I had been through and what my daughter had actually done for me, and I'm sure my daughter is no exception. So I'm sure that the children that die are very early in their lives, they have a very huge impact on all of us. But the impact should be the goodness that they had brought to us. And one last thought that I would like to share with you is at some point, when I was very sad about the death of my daughter, I asked myself, if it was up to me, if I could have decided, did I want for a rally to be born to be in my life, and bring so much sorrow together with the happiness that we had about her? Or would I decide to not have her and just not experience any of the sadness and all of the emotions that came with her death. And I decided, no matter what I would always make the decision to have my daughter in my life because of what she meant to me. And that was a point of no return. That was the point when I started to be more thankful for her being in my life than being sad about the grief and the loss that I had to experience because of it. And so I just wanted to share that with your viewers as well.Brian Smith:
Yeah, beautifully said beautifully said. And you know, you're right for all of us that have had children that have come in and left early. And we ask why? We can look, we can see that they love gems in our lives, and no matter how long they were here, and I'm so grateful that you shared this with with me today. I'm really I'm honored to have you here.Alba Monn:
Something else because of the you mentioned that we often ask ourselves why we had to lose our children. There's a little explanation that comes from Elisabeth Kubler Ross. And she was answering a question from a little boy that was dying of cancer. And he asked her why does why is it that little children have to die? And what how does God think about that? And then Elisabeth Kubler Ross told him that God is a great teacher, and all of us are his pupils. And some artists starting to learn how to read and write. And some of us are in our final exams, and just, you know, before graduation, and she said, If God had a very, very hard problem to solve, to which pupil do you think would he give it? And then the boy said only to one of the best. And he smiled at her and he was able to accept his fate as something that was extraordinary. And I think this is the truth for all of us. All the parents that have lost a child, they are actually getting their PhD from the University of life. And they are about to graduate when they are able to finally accept their faith and find some goodness in it and the strength to go on.Brian Smith:
Wow. Wow. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Well, I'll bet you enjoyed the rest of your day. Appreciate your time.Alba Monn:
You too. Thank you so much. Bye, bye.Brian Smith:
There you have it. That's the end of part two. Now please proceed to part three, for our answer a lot of questions that I have her and fill in some of the blanks that you might have missed as she told her story earlier. So that does it for another Episode of grief to growth I sure hope you enjoyed it. If you liked this content, make sure you subscribe so click on the subscribe button here, and then click on the bell to receive notifications and click on all. That way you'll be notified whenever I release new content. Thanks for watching, and have a great day.